My Temple

DISCLAIMER: This is a long one - sorry but not sorry.

Typically on Sunday's I start thinking about what I want to write about in the upcoming post. And as usual, Sunday before church in the shower (where I do all my great thinking) I started thinking about all the changes I've gone through with my body. And because God's timing is always perfect, Noah's sermon at church was about your choice with your body - your temple. How God is interested in your body just as much as he's interested in your soul.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

"19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body."

So it was decided, I'd talk about my temple and the choices I've made.

I've had my share of "seasons", some good some not so good. And the outcome of all of that was a really poor self image because I wasn't taking care of this gift I was given. Now I know some of you may think, me? The laughing sarcastic jokester? Underneath that joke and smile was a girl who never liked what she saw in the mirror. Seriously, rarely ever.

Season 1: Growing up I was raised on meat, potatoes - no worries I ate my veggies too. But red meat and a heaping pile of mashed potatoes and you can count on the "Ross butt" forming. Still, I was a gymnast, I was in good shape for a growing girl even into my teenage years.

Season 2: I quit gymnastics and picked up other sports. Some years went by but I was still growing. Then I get to HS - and I could go out and get whatever fast food my heart desired (and it desired A LOT). Now I "maintained" because I played sports year round, but I was bigger - I had bigger thighs, wider hips, and was more muscular than most girls. And you better believe they never let me forget that I didn't fit into the size 2 jeans of Abercrombie. Girls are cruel. 

Season 3: Leaving for college. I knew my parents were terrified of me gaining the "freshman 15" which in reality is more like the freshman 30 anymore. And like any freshman girl, I wanted boys to like me. So I became obsessed with that not coming true. I'd skip class to workout or skip a meal in prep for the weekend's "liquid diet" which was always followed by fast food bashing. I managed to lose 20-25 lbs, which may not seem like a lot over 6 months but I wasn't doing it the right way - I wasn't healthy.

Season 4: I'm an adult. Living on my own watching what I eat. And by that I mean watching it as it entered my mouth. I knew eating that mac-n-cheese wasn't good for me - but it's hard to remember you are eating to live not living to eat when you love food like I do. And I can't tell you the number of times I've cried out of frustration after trying on clothes. This body is my temple and it was slowly crumbling.

Season 5: I started Crossfit. The journey Crossfit has taken my on is an incredible one - a season I hope to continue for years to come. I've never felt more alive than after a 5am WOD, lying completely out of breath on the mat dripping in sweat and my coach walks over for a fist bump. It. Is. Awesome. 

Faith - Food - Fitness - Focus - Friends

Without Crossfit, the friends I've made, the lifestyle changes I've been taught - I never would've even considered a figure show. And now I couldn't imagine not being on this path. I've renovated my temple - added some new pillars, changed the drapes, updated the tile. I look in the mirror and I'm no longer ashamed of this gift I've been given. I'm no longer upset when a pair of pants wont fit because my thigh is too big - dude I worked hard for that muscle and I am damn proud of it. 

My love for food will never go away - I've just learned eating to live is so much sweeter than that piece of cake. Here's to week 9!

Meal Plan # 5

Meal 1: 5oz Chicken Breast

1 TBSP Coconut Oil

Meal 2: 6oz Orange Roughie

1 cup Green Beans

Meal 3: 5oz Chicken Breast

4oz Broccoli

12 Almonds

Mid Afternoon Snack: 7oz Orange Roughie

Meal 3: 6oz Chicken Breast

8 Asparagus

1 Tbsp Coconut oil

The Struggle is Real

I don't think I've ever had 2 pictures more purely depict the the truth of show prep...

The struggle is real  | But the results are worth it

And I needed this, oh how I needed this. This week I've been riding the struggle bus - I've hit my meal plan max of 10 days, 3 straight days of 2 workouts a day, changing up my routine to accommodate for the Open...

You name it and I'll use it as an excuse for my crappy attitude. 

But then I see these photos. And see the result of 8 weeks of hard shoulder work. And you know what, I have to stop and remember that I made this choice and remember why I made this choice.

Most days I'm up at 4am and I don't sit down to relax until 7:30pm. Some nights I forget about the steak that's been sitting in the oven for over an hour and pull out $18 worth of charred jerky. And 95% of the time I laugh and overcome it - 95% of the time that positive attitude you see me post every week is the God's honest truth. But there's that 5%, that 5% that keeps me accountable. And I need to show you that side too. 

It's not always rainbows and butterflies, sometimes it's sore legs and dark circles under your eyes - and that's ok. 

What's not ok is giving up or giving in. You have to be able to pull yourself up by your bra straps crank the music in your headphones and finish that set of heavy squeeze presses. You have to be able turn around and walk away from the homemade chocolate covered peanuts in the break room. That's what makes it ok, pat yourself on the back for doing it. You will make it through that 5% of crappiness - just keep fighting and stick to the plan. 

And when I sit down to relax at 7:30 I can smile and say,"You made it through today, good job."

Muscle Crush Monday

We all have them at the gym - our woman crushes. But in the world of Crossfit, they're more than just a crush.

They're your aspiration - motivation - the people you look up to. 

Some crushes are for certain muscles; traps, quads, booty. Others are for abilities; muscle ups, lifting, their dedication. For me and my list, it includes the likes of Abby, Miko, Alicia, Chastity...(I'd continue but my list goes on and on and I can't spend all day at work writing this post haha) These are woman I watch with pure awe and appreciation and they motivate me every day. 

They work for it, they sweat for it.

When I watch Abby (in a totally not creepy way) in her Oly corner, by herself working, and she hits a PR - lifting more than her own body weight. What isn't incredible about that? And you think to yourself, "Someday I want to be able to lift like her". Or when you're near the end of a 20min death of a WOD and hear Chas say - "One more full round, you got this" and you're like hell ya I can do it. I might vomit every where but I can do it. 

I'm growing addicted to this process. The meal prep, the extra work outs, doing the shaky leg all the way home after leg days. I love it all. I love how it's making me feel and how I'm proving to myself that this is attainable. I didn't want to do a figure show to "get skinny" or to flaunt myself. God only knows how awkward (but so grateful) I get when people notice the changes I'm going through. But to maybe, possibly, become some other woman's motivation - her woman crush. A girl can dream right?

If I can do it, you can do it. I promise.

And don't worry guys, I haven't forgotten about you. My man crush for life may be Evan - but battling Terry at 5am to see who can get more rounds and reps always makes for a great challenge. He pushes me to my limits, which I am so grateful for. Or when I come in for my second workout, tired from a full days work and getting up at 4am; Jerry comes over to chat and always ends it with "you're doing great" and boom I'm revamped. 

I wouldn't be here without my motivators - whether you know you're one or not. Thank you all!

(My next muscle group to attack - those calves!)
We're 12 weeks out - and apparently now the real fun begins! Or at least that's what I'm told. 

Flank on Fleek

One word - meat. This week's meal plan is FULL of that protein packed meat. Red meat - white meat - fish meat. Which is great because I was running low on tolerance of hard boiled eggs.

Meal Plan #4

Meal 1: 4oz Flank Steak

8 Asparagus

Meal 2: 5oz Ground Turkey

3oz Broccoli

1 Avocado

Meal 3: 3oz Flank Steak

3oz Chicken Breast

1 cup Green Beans

1/8c Sunflower Seeds

Protein drink after 2nd workout

Meal 4: 5oz White Fish or Salmon

4oz Zucchini (I spiraled it for spaghetti!)

6 Asparagus

11 Almonds

Today marks the start of week 7, aka day 43, of my show prep (still 12 to go!). And since we re-completed the 15.4 Open WOD this morning, and I saw a year's worth of improvements, I thought today might be a good bench mark day for photos as well. Looking back at the "then", I didn't realize the places I had the extra fluff. Or the areas I thought I had muscles that really I didn't. Everything continues to change, including my posture - I stand a little taller, a little more confident. 

"Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can wear"

Day 1                     Day 43

Personally, I have to compare from time to time to remind myself how far I've come and to motivate myself to keep going. Sure my pants are looser, shirts fit differently, but there are just some days you feel like a slug and need to see the results that others notice.

My baby abs are still growing but just being able to feel the definition makes me giddy. I have rector "bunny hills" that I adore. And my little hammie hump always surprises me when I notice it in a picture. I may sound like a broken record, but it is seriously the small wins you have to celebrate. And as always, be patient with yourself.

Is a Birthday Without Cake Really a Birthday At All?

The alarm goes off at 4:05a, I turn it off and immediately roll over because I know Evan's alarm will wake me up again at 4:15a. Now if you know me, you know I'm not a snooze button kinda gal. So I'll try to muster up some witty dialogue today but no promises - the thermos wore off about 2 hours ago and I haven't gotten to my coffee yet.

Each week I learn some new fun fact - this week it was that I can add sugar free coffee flavoring into my black coffee. For the girl who loved sugar with a side of coffee, this is amazing! I also learned birthdays just aren't as much fun without cake. Not to say it's not worth it because it totally is; simply that it's not as much fun. But with Evan's birthday being May 21st and my show being May 14th, we will definitely be celebrating his birthday early (cake included).

My afternoon pineapple is still the BOMB - as my Crossfit soul sister would say, "it's pineapple time!" I always try to make it last but inevitably it's gone in all of 5 minutes. And I kept to my goal last week - I stretch whenever I can! The extra 15 minutes I get on the roller or band make life much more flexible. (I know, it's corny but I tried!) 

My body is morphing and changing, almost every day. I notice muscle groups I used to THINK I had that now I can actually see. And I've been bumped to 2 shoulder sessions a week - my traps have been on fire for the majority of 2 weeks.

Don't judge me for flexing, eventually I'll learn some posing techniques.

Dreams Achieved

Ever since I started eating paleo, there have been a few things escaping my reach in the kitchen. They include but are not limited to:

1. Pancakes
2. Chocolate chip cookies
3. Brownies

Well I am happy to announce, last night I achieved 2 of these things! Pancakes and brownies. Now the brownies comply with our paleo+ mentality, the chocolate used was Enjoy Life chips which are dairy free but use cane juice as sweetner. But both were completely delicious (according to Evan). I tell you what, this man tastes whatever I put in front of him without complaint. 

The pancakes were fluffy.

Ingredients

1/2 cup almond flour

1/2 cup tapioca flour

1 tsp baking powder

dash of salt

1-2 tsp honey

2-3 tbsp melted coconut oil
2 eggs

Instructions

Mix ingredients together.

Heat up pan.

Grease pan and use 1/3 cup to scoop out mix.

Add toppings as you wish.

The brownies were fudgy. And even had that coveted "film" on top!
(technically Evan baked these...)
Ingredients
6 Tbsp. coconut oil
6oz Enjoy Life mini chips (Can be found at Kroger)
2 large eggs, room temperature
2/3 cup coconut sugar
2 tsp. vanilla extract
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
3 Tbsp. arrowroot powder
1/4 tsp. salt

Instructions
Preheat oven to 350F and line 8x8 pan with foil, leaving a few inches of overhang on the sides to allow for easy removal.
Grease the foil and set aside.
Add coconut oil and chocolate chips to a small saucepan set over low heat.
Stir until oil and chocolate have melted before removing from heat and setting aside to cool slightly.
Using a handheld mixer or a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, beat together eggs, sugar, and vanilla extract until smooth and pale, about 2 minutes.
Add melted chocolate mixture and mix until well combined.
Reduce speed to low and add cocoa powder, arrowroot powder, and salt, mixing until well combined.
Batter should be thick and smooth.
Pour batter into prepared pan.
Bake for 25-30 minutes, until center is set.
Remove from oven and let cool in pan for about 15 minutes before removing and transferring to a wire rack to cool completely. 

Take a look, give them a try. Enjoy!

And bonus video - before we even started dating Evan sweetly tried my paleo lemon bars. They were easily the most disgusting thing I've ever cooked. He was after my heart before I even knew he was interested <3

A Test of Love

Short and Sweet

I made it through another 2 week meal plan! Woohoo! If you remember I was totally pumped about it, then totally not loving it a week in. Two words: Cooked spinach. I'm not a picky eater by any stretch but cooked spinach and I just do not mix. I tried it all, wrapped in turkey, mixed with eggs, mixed with my protein shake... Yuck, yuck, and yuck. 

This last week though, one of the biggest things I noticed was how tight my muscles were. At work I would find myself being a hunch back because my delts and pecs were so tight that my shoulders just "naturally" fell forward. I use naturally loosely because this is not a natural position for my shoulders.

Goal for this week? Mobilize and stretch whenever possible.

I'm still noticing some new muscles - for starters this weird armpit muscle. Yes that's the technical term for it (obviously). Based on my Googling I believe it's really the Latissimus Dorsi/Teres Major, which I vaguely remember from Biology in high school.  Nevertheless, it's a muscle group I've never noticed before which is kind of cool. 

This week is a new plan and I may be calling wolf but it seems pretty legit. Especially now that I'm learning how to prep chicken with great flavor and of course there's my beloved red meat. Truthfully each week it's the sweet urge that gets me (and yes the urges still hits). There are only so many hot sauces and spice concoctions to try before you just need a quick sweet. So the pineapple on this plan is a godsend. Seriously, Chas, thank you!

To give you an idea of what a day of meal prepping results in: overall 5hrs of cooking on and off and a fully stocked fridge. Inevitably when I need 14 oz, the pkg only comes in 16 oz. Or if I need 4 lbs there are only 5lb pkgs left. So needless to say, Evan benefits from my extras that I turn into food he won't hate eating haha. For Evan, chicken salad, honey glazed carrots, green beans and onions from my use in the crock pot, and left over sausage and hamburger. Then it's a game of Tetris until the door closes. 

Use caution when opening...

Meal Plan #3

Meal 1: 3oz Hamburger 73/27

2oz Sausage ground

2 Whole Eggs

11 Almonds

Meal 2: 4oz Chicken Breast

2 Whole Eggs

Meal 3: 3oz Pineapple

1/4c Dry oats

Protein drink after auxiliary

Meal 4: 2c or a bed of spinach

5oz Chicken Breast

2 whole eggs

18 Almonds

2TBSP Balsamic Vinegar

Can add other green veggies such as broccoli, asparagus and brussel sprouts