We're Ebbing and Flowing

15 weeks out - sounds like forever right? And sometimes it feels like forever too. But I know it'll be here before I know it which is what I have to remind myself every day.

It's a process. 

That's been my statement this last week - and mostly because of the meal plan changes. I was SO excited seeing what all I would be eating but then eating it and seeing/feeling the effects weren't as exciting. But it's a process - ebb and flow, high and low, building and leaning. So this week it isn't about the overall changes, it's more specific. 

Abs, legs, shoulders. 

(knees and toes knees and toes)

Going into prep Chastity - my coach - talked me through what the expectations of figure are. Overall balance, definition of muscle groups, etc. What did I need to do? Balance my top and bottom, define my legs and obtain a shoulder cap (because mine were nonexistent) - among other things. So each week I go in a couple extra nights and focus on legs or arms - my auxiliary. And let me tell you, it sucks but is SO WORTH IT. I see results not only in my body but in my other workouts. I'm push-upping (that's a thing right?) throughout a WOD and don't have to go to my knees. I'm keeping up with people who typically pass by me. 

It's a process - and it's working. 

I look in the mirror and see baby traps and a tiny cap. I have an ab line that I typically only saw after having the 3 day flu. And it's no longer just "here are my gymnast thighs" - I have quads, hammies, and whatever that little bump above my knee is. To some these images may not seem all that impressive, and that's ok. But to me - they're each a little trophy. 

It's a process and while I don't always love it (mainly because I lack any sort of patience) I know in the end it'll all be worth it - just have to stay the course. 

Do-nut Know What I'd Do

A spike in boredom or in a craving and I turn to baking. This one is Evan approved and made my house smell like peanut butter. Enjoy!

Directions
Ingredients
Donut:
1/2 c coconut flour
3 Tbsp chocolate protein powder
2 tsp honey or other sweetner
3 eggs
1/3 c unsweetened vanilla almond milk
1/3 c coconut, melted.
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tbsp almond butter or nut butter of choice
1/4 tsp sea salt
1/2 tsp baking soda + 1 tsp apple cider vinegar, mixed in a separate pinch bowl (will be fizzy)

Frosting:
1/4 c peanut butter or nut butter of choice
3 1/2  tsp coconut oil
Sweetener of choice: 1 tsp honey or sweetner of choice

Preheat oven to 350◦ F, and spray a donut baking tray, or 8x8 baking pan
Sift coconut flour and cocoa powder together in a large mixing bowl. Add sea salt to the flour mixture. Set aside.
Combine in a medium size mixing bowl: eggs, coconut milk, melted coconut oil, vanilla extract, melted nut or seed butter.
Add premixed baking soda- apple cider vinegar mixture to the egg mixture, and stir in well.
Add Sweetener of choice to the egg mixture and combine thoroughly.
Combine dry flour mixture and liquid egg mixture. Stir until chocolate batter forms.
Fill each depression until almost level with the top of depression. If you don’t have donut pan, then spoon batter into baking pan and spread around evenly, (can be cut into small squares when done).
Bake for 20 minutes or until it feel spongy to the though.
Let cool in pan for 5 minutes, then remove. Let cool completely before frosting.
In a small bowl combine all the ingredients except chocolate chip garnish.
Place in microwave for about 30 seconds, keep an eye it doesnt start to bubble.
Remove and let cool a few minutes.
Dip donut or square into melted nut butter frosting and roll around until covered in frosting.
Place on a baking sheet line with parchment paper. Repeat until all are frosted.
Place baking sheet in freezer for 20 minutes or until the nut butter frosting has solidified.

Not Always Rainbows & Butterflies

I try daily to keep a positive outlook on this plan... And for the most part everything is good and my blog reflects that; but I don't want to paint a false picture. Every day there is a struggle. Every day I have my coach's voice running through my head saying "don't do it" "you don't need it" "remember the goal you want". Some days I'm discouraged, my body doesn't feel great, a craving kicks in, or whatever the case may be and I have an internal battle with what I want and what I need.

The short term versus the long term goal. 

But it's a learning process. Learning what my body can and cannot handle - How a food or a workout effects me. I'm by no means starving myself - in fact I'm eating more now than I typically would. But having to get up and zombie walk into the gym for my 5th day of cardio isn't easy. Then I feel the smile pop on my face as soon as I walk in the door. I see a familiar face and feel accomplished to have to made it in. 

It makes it worth fighting for. 

I started the idea of doing a figure show because I watched via social media as a friend prepared and competed. And I too hope to be that same inspiration for someone. Someone who thinks, "there's no way". "I could never look like that". "I don't have what it takes".

I'm here to tell you that YOU DO and YOU CAN!

To bring it full circle, yes it's a battle but every day something happens that makes it worth it. Every day I'm one step closer to the competition and one step closer to the figure I need. And I'm one step closer to the donuts, ice cream, pizza, and mac & cheese (along with so many other things) I plan to devour immediately after the show!