It's Okay To Not Be Okay

I've been prepping for 2 months now. Which honestly doesn't sound like a long time (8 weeks, that sounds better) but sometimes it feels like ages have passed - Time seems to pass slower when you're counting down to your next meal. And for the most part I've kept it all together. But this week, I'm struggling. Struggling to keep eating only what I'm supposed to. To do the cardio and extra workouts like I'm supposed to. I'm a toddler who doesn't want to eat her broccoli even though it's good for me so I'm sitting at the table crying...over broccoli.

Now I cry over a lot of stuff - but never broccoli.

And I look back to last year - 6 weeks out - and I was in the same spot. Struggling to see progress. Struggling getting back into the gym for more work. Struggling because I'm exhausted and have momentarily lost my excitement about this journey.

Key word: momentarily.

This journey isn't easy, it's not for the weak hearted. It takes a lot to sit around while others eat delicious La Fiesta and cake. It takes a lot to not eat the free food provided at a work function...all...week...long. It takes a lot not to shove spoonfuls of peanut butter into your face because you're home alone and only the dogs will know.

It's hard but it's not impossible.

Now the leg workouts that Chas programs - those are close to impossible. Seriously. You think CrossFit is hard, let her give you a leg workout. The 2nd day soreness is real.

And so it goes - the highs and lows that come with prep. Being able to look back and see that I was here before but also see that I made it through then, I know I can make it through now. If there's one thing I've learned - It's okay to not always be okay. 

So to close, I apologize if you came my way and left wondering where my normal peppy self was - give it a minute, she'll be back. And thank you for continuing to love me through it all.