If you look at my calendar it's jam packed. We have a wedding in 7 months (and everything leading up to it), a house that's in need of updates, outdoor projects that are endless - and I sometimes forget to focus on where I am right at this moment.
Too worried about tomorrow and not today.
Show prep is and has been the driving force in my life for the last 14 weeks. It's what I've had to plan the rest of my life around - which isn't always easy. So this week it's about focusing where I am, today. And working with what I have, the good and the bad.
The food and mood: This week we cut salt. INSANE. I know. However, not that hard truthfully. It's been the loss of that sweet potato that's got me down. I've started getting food angry for everything I can't eat - aka fangry. Just ask Evan. Yesterday he thought it was a good idea to pull out a granola bar in the 10 minutes I was home to change before auxiliary. BUT I no longer get hangry - let's get real, I'm ALWAYS eating.
The routine: Throughout the journey I've had a fairly stable routine. Cardio - shake/shower - work/all my meals - auxiliary/dinner - bed. Again, I'm always eating. But instead of a shake in the shower, I have a meal to eat after 5am cardio. Egg whites and chicken don't work so well in the shower. So trying to fit a meal in before work in the morning has definitely thrown a curve ball into my morning routine...
The workout: I'm into more cardio and less Crossfit and I knew this would start to change eventually. My energy level has slowly been depleting with the changes to my meal plan and Crossfit was getting increasingly difficult. The problem - I'm into more cardio and less Crossfit...
The posing: I'm still totally terrified with the idea of being on stage, in a skimpy suit, and having to pose in 5in heels. Even after a day of posing practice - I'm a step above terrible. There's a lot to remember with each pose (and remember I'm a perfectionist). But this is my first show, and I've started a good foundation. I just need to learn to work what I have.
For instance - I focused on relaxed hands here and oh...nothing else.
So that's where I'm at folks. Above all else, I need to enjoy these next 5 weeks. I need to focus on getting sleep, focus on finding my posing swag, and focus on each day of this journey. I mean, if I'm asleep at least I won't have cravings right?
I have to remember why I chose to do this. And remember how it's opened up so much more to me than just a figure show - It's shown me my true strength, brought immeasurable support, and given me a confidence I never knew I could carry. Things I tend to forget to enjoy as I stress about 'tomorrow'.
If I trip, Evan will cheer (he said so). If my body doesn't show every muscle, oh well. If I have Mr. Crab hands, at least that'll be memorable. Focus and enjoy - we're almost there!
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