We're Ebbing and Flowing

15 weeks out - sounds like forever right? And sometimes it feels like forever too. But I know it'll be here before I know it which is what I have to remind myself every day.

It's a process. 

That's been my statement this last week - and mostly because of the meal plan changes. I was SO excited seeing what all I would be eating but then eating it and seeing/feeling the effects weren't as exciting. But it's a process - ebb and flow, high and low, building and leaning. So this week it isn't about the overall changes, it's more specific. 

Abs, legs, shoulders. 

(knees and toes knees and toes)

Going into prep Chastity - my coach - talked me through what the expectations of figure are. Overall balance, definition of muscle groups, etc. What did I need to do? Balance my top and bottom, define my legs and obtain a shoulder cap (because mine were nonexistent) - among other things. So each week I go in a couple extra nights and focus on legs or arms - my auxiliary. And let me tell you, it sucks but is SO WORTH IT. I see results not only in my body but in my other workouts. I'm push-upping (that's a thing right?) throughout a WOD and don't have to go to my knees. I'm keeping up with people who typically pass by me. 

It's a process - and it's working. 

I look in the mirror and see baby traps and a tiny cap. I have an ab line that I typically only saw after having the 3 day flu. And it's no longer just "here are my gymnast thighs" - I have quads, hammies, and whatever that little bump above my knee is. To some these images may not seem all that impressive, and that's ok. But to me - they're each a little trophy. 

It's a process and while I don't always love it (mainly because I lack any sort of patience) I know in the end it'll all be worth it - just have to stay the course. 

Do-nut Know What I'd Do

A spike in boredom or in a craving and I turn to baking. This one is Evan approved and made my house smell like peanut butter. Enjoy!

Directions
Ingredients
Donut:
1/2 c coconut flour
3 Tbsp chocolate protein powder
2 tsp honey or other sweetner
3 eggs
1/3 c unsweetened vanilla almond milk
1/3 c coconut, melted.
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tbsp almond butter or nut butter of choice
1/4 tsp sea salt
1/2 tsp baking soda + 1 tsp apple cider vinegar, mixed in a separate pinch bowl (will be fizzy)

Frosting:
1/4 c peanut butter or nut butter of choice
3 1/2  tsp coconut oil
Sweetener of choice: 1 tsp honey or sweetner of choice

Preheat oven to 350◦ F, and spray a donut baking tray, or 8x8 baking pan
Sift coconut flour and cocoa powder together in a large mixing bowl. Add sea salt to the flour mixture. Set aside.
Combine in a medium size mixing bowl: eggs, coconut milk, melted coconut oil, vanilla extract, melted nut or seed butter.
Add premixed baking soda- apple cider vinegar mixture to the egg mixture, and stir in well.
Add Sweetener of choice to the egg mixture and combine thoroughly.
Combine dry flour mixture and liquid egg mixture. Stir until chocolate batter forms.
Fill each depression until almost level with the top of depression. If you don’t have donut pan, then spoon batter into baking pan and spread around evenly, (can be cut into small squares when done).
Bake for 20 minutes or until it feel spongy to the though.
Let cool in pan for 5 minutes, then remove. Let cool completely before frosting.
In a small bowl combine all the ingredients except chocolate chip garnish.
Place in microwave for about 30 seconds, keep an eye it doesnt start to bubble.
Remove and let cool a few minutes.
Dip donut or square into melted nut butter frosting and roll around until covered in frosting.
Place on a baking sheet line with parchment paper. Repeat until all are frosted.
Place baking sheet in freezer for 20 minutes or until the nut butter frosting has solidified.

Not Always Rainbows & Butterflies

I try daily to keep a positive outlook on this plan... And for the most part everything is good and my blog reflects that; but I don't want to paint a false picture. Every day there is a struggle. Every day I have my coach's voice running through my head saying "don't do it" "you don't need it" "remember the goal you want". Some days I'm discouraged, my body doesn't feel great, a craving kicks in, or whatever the case may be and I have an internal battle with what I want and what I need.

The short term versus the long term goal. 

But it's a learning process. Learning what my body can and cannot handle - How a food or a workout effects me. I'm by no means starving myself - in fact I'm eating more now than I typically would. But having to get up and zombie walk into the gym for my 5th day of cardio isn't easy. Then I feel the smile pop on my face as soon as I walk in the door. I see a familiar face and feel accomplished to have to made it in. 

It makes it worth fighting for. 

I started the idea of doing a figure show because I watched via social media as a friend prepared and competed. And I too hope to be that same inspiration for someone. Someone who thinks, "there's no way". "I could never look like that". "I don't have what it takes".

I'm here to tell you that YOU DO and YOU CAN!

To bring it full circle, yes it's a battle but every day something happens that makes it worth it. Every day I'm one step closer to the competition and one step closer to the figure I need. And I'm one step closer to the donuts, ice cream, pizza, and mac & cheese (along with so many other things) I plan to devour immediately after the show!

A Weekend Away

I'm a day late this week - but for a good reason. Look at this cutie that I got to spend the entire weekend with!

I traveled to PA over the weekend to visit a bestie (and bridesmaid) and her new beautiful baby girl. It's weird realizing your friend is a mom and that you're now at an age where this is normal. But that's a whole other mind blowing topic.

This week's mind blowing topic is the fact I managed to stay on track with my meal plan (and get a cardio workout in) over the entire weekend - No easy feat when your friends are eating steak, pizza, ice cream, glazed carrots, roasted potatoes... the list goes on. The steak definitely had me drooling, I mean I was on a beef farm! But I was lucky enough to be able to bring home some because...

I'M ON A NEW AWESOME MEAL PLAN

Boom.
This week I also noticed my abs are starting to poke through. Out of all of my memories I cannot remember ever having ab definition - ever. So this in itself was another huge win for me.
Boom. Boom.
And during today's workout - I managed 125 push ups without going to my knees. My first "proof" that my auxiliary is paying off.
Boom. Boom. Boom.

Meal Plan 2

Water: at least a gallon and 1/2 per day

1/2 Grapefruit with thermo before cardio

Immediately following cardio or morning workouts:

Pure Selection Protein Shake (1 Scoop)

Meal 1: 4oz Flank Steak

3oz chicken breast

2 Whole Eggs

Meal 2: 3oz Tuna

1/4c Whole Oats

8 Asparagus

                                               

Meal 3: 5oz Turkey Breast

1/2 Avocado

1/2c after cooked Spinach

Meal 4: 3oz Flank Steak

3oz Chicken Breast

1/2c after cooked Brussel Sprouts

7 Almonds

Going 14 days on a meal plan is tough - I think my max of toleration is 10 days. But you make due and I'm learning that warm/cold doesn't matter - Just eat the dang food. 

It Helps Pretending - Mini Loaf

After being away for 4 days, leaving Evan to fend for himself with 2 annoying pups, I decided to make him a treat. Something easy, obviously. But since he's trying to stay paleo with me it needed to stay within our paleo+ style.

Not only did it turn out delicious (according to Evan) - just baking something helped curb my desire for "off the plan" food. So enjoy!

Nut Butter Mini Loafs

Ingredients:

1/2 c Almond Butter ( I used Justin's)

1/2 c Creamy Peanut Butter (I used JIF Natural Creamy)

4 eggs

1 tsp baking soda

1 tbsp honey

pinch of salt

Directions:

Preheat oven to 325.

Mix together your nut butters and eggs until super smooth - I suggest using a mixer. 

Add in baking soda and salt, mix.

Add in honey, mix.

Using a mini loaf - spray pan and scoop out batter. For me, it made 4 loafs with a little let over that I discarded. 

Bake for 18-20 minutes - loaf should feel cake like and bouncy when you test the top. 

Let sit for 20 minutes or until cool. 

Evan said the taste is light enough to use it as sandwich bread OR add some fruit and butter to it. Either way, you should try it!

Because Wednesdays Are Worse Than Mondays

Weird right? But seriously I dislike Wednesdays. Don't get me wrong, I get the Sunday night blues knowing the week starts again but I tend to hit the ground running on Monday. Then when Wednesday rolls around the day drags, I realize how much I still need to accomplish that week, and I can feel how close the weekend is.

Wednesdays just suck. 

But on the flip side, I gotta put on my positive pants and figure out how to get through the day. So I'm turning to memes!

My weekend:

My current life:

Just because this made me LOL:

HAPPY WEDNESDAY EVERYONE!

Sometimes You Have To

Some days you have to get up at 2:30 when your alarm is set for 4 because the puppy needs to pee.

Some days you realize how you could've gone Rx on a WOD after you already finished. 

Some days you just have to take your protein shake into the shower with you. 

 And that was my Monday morning haha.

Going into week 2 of figure training I am stronger - and I don't even mean physically. I am mentally stronger. 

Last week was tough to say the least. Every time I walked into Kroger I had to walk passed a tower of cookies, and walk down the chip aisle, and put blinders on as I walked passed the cheese. And honestly, I wanted to punch a stranger. Thank God Evan has enough patience for the 2 of us to deal with my moodiness as we wandered around.

As I move into week 2 my cravings have curbed, I have a better feeling of "I can do this", and I look forward to the battle each day. I'm learning as I go and I'm so unbelievably thankful I have gals to ask questions and who understand the struggle. The tips and tricks I've learned have helped tremendously - especially as I force feed myself 6oz of tuna.

People still look at me funny when I pull out my food in a meeting or at a get together. And more so when they ask why and I say, "because I'm training for a figure competition" and then they ask why again. There's no rhyme to my reason, I wanted to do this and now I am. I realize there will always be doubters and people who will never understand this urge I have and that's ok; just please support me. 

For me, it's the little wins that keep me going:

• I don't feel bloated - ever
• I was able to say no to queso dip AND cupcakes
• My recovery is faster
• I feel more alive during a workout
• My clothes are fitting better

I really need to work on my posture... 

Bring it on week 2!

A Day of Reckoning

Everyone starts the year with a "new year, new me" mentality. For me, it's not about a new me or even a better me but a stronger me. November and December were tough months, my fluffiness is in full force - hence the title. But today marked day 1 of my 4 month journey preparing for my first figure show.

I'm not posting these to have people feed me the line "you already look great". I live with a man who tells me that every day, God love him. And I'm not doing this because I want applause or recognition. I'm doing this to show that anyone can do it. I'm proud to be trying and I'll be even more proud when I walk on stage and look like I deserve to be there.

But I know I'll need support along the way - and that's what this is for. Support to get up at 5am to get in my 5th cardio workout for the week. Support to get off the couch and meal prep. Support when I have an unnerving craving for a large cheese pizza.

And so, with closed eyes I'm hitting publish and putting this and all it's glory out on the web.

Day 1:

Meal Plan

WATER:  at least a gallon and 1/2 per day

1/2 Grapefruit before morning workout

Immediately following cardio or morning workouts:

Pure Selection Protein Shake (1 Scoop)

Meal 1: 5oz Chicken Breast

1 TBSP Coconut Oil

Meal 2: 6oz Orange Roughie

1 cup Green Beans

Meal 3: 5oz Chicken Breast

4oz Broccoli

12 Almonds

Mid Afternoon Snack: 6oz Tuna

Meal 4: 6oz Chicken Breast

8 Asparagus

1 Tbsp Coconut oil